The Joy of Sexus by León Vicki

Author:León, Vicki [León, Vicki]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
Published: 2013-01-28T20:00:00+00:00

Clodius Pulcher:

Rome’s lovable, unspeakable rogue

Mutinous army officer, political turncoat, gang leader, cross-dresser, pirate hostage, and zestful incest aficionado: Publius Clodius Pulcher jammed all that and much more into his forty-one-year lifespan. And the Roman public loved that bad boy for it.

From one of Rome’s most ancient and aristocratic families, the Claudii, he, his mom, and his three sisters (all named Clodia) were left nearly destitute at their father’s death.

As the Third Mithradatic War in Asia Minor heated up, the twenty-five-year-old joined the military, becoming minor brass under his brother-in-law, General Lucullus. He immediately got into a jam by inciting mutiny among the legionaries. Tossed out of the army, Clodius wheedled another brother-in-law into letting him take command of his fleet.

On this outing, Clodius was captured by pirates. The brigands demanded a ransom from the ruler of a nearby island, who sent a miserly sum. That tickled the pirates so much, they let Clodius go.

Back in Rome, Clodius faced an army treason charge brought by Lucullus. Making things even stickier, Clodius had also been doing the wild thing with his own little sister, Lucullus’s wife Clodia. When Lucullus discovered the adultery, he divorced her at the speed of light.

Expecting a death threat at any moment, Clodius hastily took shelter by marrying Fulvia, a ferociously active member of the influential Tuditani clan. They promptly set about making babies. By 62 B.C., bored with respectability, Clodius sought extracurricular diversion, hoping to find it with Pompeia, at that time the wife of Julius Caesar.

Things seemed to jell in December, when the all-nighter mystery rites of the Bona Dea goddess took place at Caesar’s home. Bona Dea, goddess of chastity and fertility, had superstrict rules. Absolutely no men allowed; even tomcats and baby boys were removed from the premises.

Clodius enjoyed complicated romances and a bit of transvestite fun as well; this seemed like a perfect time to try them out. The women at Caesar’s house had just sacrificed a sow and were having cocktails with the vestal virgins who ran the ceremonies when a commotion broke out. An alert servant heard a strangely deep voice coming from a person wearing female robes—and cross-dressing Clodius was busted. The Bona Dea ceremony was ruined, called off due to male sacrilege.

In the tumultuous aftermath, Caesar quickly divorced Pompeia, saying, “The wife of Caesar must be above suspicion.” Now that Pompeia was free of marital complications, Clodius lost interest.

Clodius thought it best to go hide out at his middle sister’s place. Sisterly incest was such a comfort, especially with the drop-dead-beautiful Clodia. His brother-in-law Lucullus was still peeved about his incest with little sister Clodia, and now brought him up on three counts of sexual immorality.

At his trial, the evidence was solidly stacked against Clodius. At the eleventh hour, however, his rich buddy Crassus bribed all the jurors and got Clodius acquitted. His wife Fulvia even stood by him.

As Clodius reveled in his reversals, up popped Cicero, his worst political foe. Not only was the man a social climber, he’d become a boorish neighbor over a property dispute.

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